Top Ten Reasons Why Nannies Leave a Position: Reason #9
9) The Nanny Has Too Much Responsibility for the Child. In Some Cases There Is Not Enough Involvement on the Part of the Parent.
Very few parents, (if any) set out to turn over the role of parent to the nanny. These situations are relatively rare, but we sometimes see them, especially when the parent(s) has a very demanding job. In our current economy many parents feel pressure to work more and longer hours to keep their jobs secure. This can place parents in a difficult position. And sometimes a parent feels so comfortable with the nanny’s care of the child that he or she gradually takes on more and more responsibility at work and the nanny is put in a situation that is overwhelming in terms of her responsibility for the child. Nannies take pride in knowing that they are giving the family peace of mind and providing exceptional childcare. There is a big difference for the nanny between feeling that she is helping and feeling that she is responsible for raising the child.
It is vitally important to all involved, (especially the child), that the parent maintains the role of primary caregiver in the child’s life. When a nanny works too many hours, the child may depend on her to fulfill emotional needs that are beyond the scope of her job as a nanny. Although it’s common for nannies to become “part of the family”, and in most circumstances this is fine, it’s important to the child’s development that she understands the difference between the parent and the nanny. Although the nanny loves the child, she knows she is the nanny, not the parent. Even the best nanny can’t replace what a child needs from a parent, and nannies know this.
Although she is committed to the family, the nanny will ultimately leave one day. If she is the closest thing to a parent the child has known, this could cause the child emotional distress or difficulty. The child who has a strong, stable bond with the parent may miss the nanny but can weather these changes fairly easily, especially if the nanny stays in touch with the child over the long term.
To get more tips on hiring and retaining a nanny go to: www.safeandsoundnannies.com
Dr. Ann Wycoff is founder of Safe and Sound Nannies, a full service agency, and The Nanny Answer, an online, do-it-yourself nanny screening service.